Plateau be gone week 2(b): 2 Victories!

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Green-Light.jpg

I had a great result with the scales this morning. A "green light" if you like. Whilst this pleased me, I am not declaring the plateau over until I've had 3 or 4 "green light" weeks in a row and left the yellow and red light zone long behind me. 

I decided that I won't be sharing numbers regarding weight loss other than when I reach significant milestones. 

I know that many people, certainly most women, have a complicated relationship with the scales. For me, weighing myself weekly is the most effective way to track my progress and keep myself accountable. I have tried improving my health through monitoring my clothing size and measurements, but this theory only encouraged my denial. I would only wear loose fitting clothes and suck my stomach in when I measured myself and convince myself I'd made progress. 

For me, the factual nature of a number on the scales is very useful. I can't deny my way around it and unless there is an exceptional circumstance (say, "that time of the month") it is accurate and it takes the emotion out of it for me and gives me a piece of evidence that I can work with. Denial is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my health so this kind of monitoring forces me to be honest with myself.

This is not the case for everyone. For some people it is all too easy for the scales to take over their lives. For others it is just not a healthy or effective source of motivation. Whether you are trying to gain or lose weight or address another aspect of your health or well being, there is much that comes down to the individual. 

I do not believe in "one size fits all" approaches. I think people succeed when they find a way to use their individual behaviour patterns to their advantage and create positive outcomes. 

At the end of the day, I am not a dietitian, a doctor or a psychologist. The purpose of this blog is to share my thoughts, feelings, experiences and opinions, I am certainly not creating the "Eliza Brebner Griffin Diet Plan". I am not here to tell you how to improve your health in any way, I am just sharing how I am going about trying to improve mine.

My greatest victory today, however, was not on the scales. My grandmother's fitness has deteriorated rapidly over the past year or so. She has significant problems with her knees and feet that make walking very difficult and as a result she has become alarmingly sedentary. When I was spending time with her in South Australia I was shocked at how a tiny amount of exercise, say, walking 150 metres, would cause her to wheeze. 

What really distressed me though, was how difficult this made everyday tasks for her. As a widow living on her own, her independence is paramount to her lifestyle. The regression simply had to stop but she has not "got around" to do anything about it herself. To be honest, I think she was scared.

Patsy is a woman of her generation in many, many ways. She was a tennis champion in her youth and an accomplished golfer. She played golf up until my Pa got sick, when she would feel too guilty to go out without him. So until her late seventies, she was very fit for her age.

Shortly after I arrived in Adelaide I told her that by the time I went back to Melbourne, she would have an appointment booked somewhere to get her started on the way to improving her fitness. She swung the full pendulum of being completely mortified to very grateful on the issue, but I was determined that by the time I went home, the "ball would be rolling". 

We decided in the end that a visit to her physiotherapist specifically to discuss her fitness would be the best starting point. Patsy tried to convince me on the day I was leaving to let her make the appointment "tomorrow" but I made her made the appointment in front of me. I noted the appointment time down in my own diary and told her to expect a follow-up call.

When I rang her this morning she told me how the physio had arranged for her to have some sessions in the physio gym with a trainer who will be briefed on her medical history so that he/she is aware of her very real physical limitations. Once she has done some initial work to improve her base fitness, she will be referred onto a program that specializes in low-impact exercise for older people. 

Pasty thanked me for pushing her and admitted to me that she never would have "got around to it" herself.  In her mind and the minds of many her age, the term "exercise" equated to sport, swimming, running and this mysterious place called the "gym". In her mind the gym is somewhere that young people and athletes go; scary, foreign territory.  She was obviously very afraid of what she might have to do to restore her fitness and the environment she might have to venture into.

Today she seemed a bit relieved. Her physio is brilliant and the plan she has designed for Patsy will ease her gently out of her comfort zone, but only has much as is necessary to get her healthy. I think once she gets stuck in she will feel so much better in her daily life. She'll be able to play golf more easily, walk longer distances without as much pain and do basic activities like grocery shopping with greater ease.

I really look forward to Patsy being able to get a greater amount of enjoyment from her life. After all that is what "good health" is all about - being able to live a happy, fulfilling and productive life.

Plateau be gone week 2(a)

I've made the executive decision to change my weigh in day to Wednesday. Sorry to disappoint today but weighing in on the weekend just doesn't make a whole lot of sense in terms of planning my week. If I want to have a day where I indulge a little, it will probably be on the weekend. Jumping on the scales after a "treat day" or whatever you want to call it, isn't all that accurate or that good for my morale. There is also the alliteration of "Weigh In Wednesday", which is just too horribly corny to resist.

All in all I've been pleased with my efforts this week. I was very pleased with my efforts in Adelaide. Once you are determined to find a healthy option on a menu, you can usually create one somehow. South Australian white fish is beautiful, especially King George whiting, which is something I love having when I spend some time further west. By having it grilled rather than fried and asking for the chips to be left off the plate, you find yourself with quite a reasonable meal. 

I was surprised at how much easier it was to make better choices outside of my usual environment. It also made me realise how much I let myself "cheat" at times and that whilst I have changed a fair bit, I still have quite a few mindless habits in my daily routine that hinder me. 

The first thing that became apparent to me was that I am suffering from a mild case of "reward syndrome". Reward syndrome is a fitness industry buzz term for "rewarding" yourself after a hard workout with something you ordinarily wouldn't permit yourself to eat. It is a mentality that generations of people were raised with, as was particularly evident to me after spending time with my grandmother. After a day of gentle activity that was walking 9 holes of golf, she suggesting that night that I had "earned" a dessert. 

This is a classic pitfall of people who are claiming that they want to lose weight and "get healthy" but are better at talking the talk than walking the walk. It is a form of self sabotage and reflects a certain lack of commitment to what you claim to be trying to achieve. 

Now, I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be in this regard,but I found myself thinking "if only I ate this well usually, combined with my usual exercise there'd be no way I'd be stuck in a plateau". That little reflection made me realise that whilst I have come a long way, there is still a way to go. 

I no longer do the direct "I've done this exercise today, so now I can eat this" however the idea of not being able to exercise for 4 days really bothered me. When thinking about why that was I  realised that exercise has become a security blanket for me. I do not pay as much attention to my diet when I'm exercising really hard, which is most of the time. I love working really hard in the gym but it has lulled me into a false sense of security about my food choices.

The plateau puzzled me a little at first, but now I realise that as my fitness has improved, my carbohydrate consumption and my sugar consumption have slowly crept up. I don't intend to cut out either nutrient but I need to do a better job of keeping the amounts of those things I consume in check, 

My trip to Adelaide has given me much inspiration for writing. The health of my Grandmother in her old age is one big topic. Being around her reminded me that diet and exercise should not be something you focus on as a young person just to be skinny; being fit and healthy is so important and has a dramatic impact on your ability to be comfortable and independent in old age.

Be kind to yourselves and I'll talk to you again on Wednesday!

Survivor Wattle Park

I write to you from the study at Patsy's place on a rather aged piece of machinery. I arrived in Adelaide on Monday morning feeling a little weary after being peer pressured by my brother to stay up and watch the Wawrinka v Djokovic 5 setter.

Staying with Patsy is a bit like staying with the Queen, if the Queen were to live in the eastern suburbs of Adelaide. I only needed to bring clothes for 4 days, which ordinarily would not be all that much. However, staying with Patsy means having what she deems to be an "appropriate" outfit for every activity that one might undertake. She often changes 3 times a day in order to be "proprerly" dressed.

I have seen a good friend, I have consumed the local water (how did I survive on it for so many years?!) I have been to Victor Harbor, I have golfed and I have been on a 6 hour cruise. I am surviving. I am on the weary side at this stage but I will be going back to Melbourne in a few hours so I'm approaching the finish line of this little voyage.

My time now is limited so I will tell you more of my tales on Sunday.

Plateau be gone: week 1

Miranda Kerr, Victoria's Secret model
 but not my role model.

I could have thrown my scales across my room this morning. After what I thought was a good week of healthy eating and exercising hard, there was no change on the scales. 

I'm very frustrated. 

For the first 10 kilos of my weight loss, the weight came off very straightforwardly. Whilst I was exercising regularly, diet was so shocking that cutting out the massive junk binges made a big difference.

The next 4-6 kilos required a bit more work. I changed by exercise patterns quite a bit. When I was at my heaviest my workouts were the same, 40 minutes of cardio on a machine, a plank, some pushups and a stretch. I did this because I didn't want to venture into any part of the gym where I would be forced to look at myself in the mirror, so the group fitness rooms and the weights area were out of the question. 

Once I realised that there was a section of the group fitness studio down one side that was not covered in mirrors, my exercise changed a lot. I started with pump classes, which are hour long classes doing weights with a barbell, and now I do attack (high intensity aerobics style cardio) and CX (30 minute core class) too. This injected some much needed variety into my routine as well as some all important  strength work. 

Going to group fitness classes regularly was a big step forward for me. Not only had I been afraid of the mirrors, but I found exercising in front of other people so intimidating. It also took me bit of trial and error to find instructors that suited me. 

My confidence was so low that being in class full of gossipy, cliquey, impossibly fit and toned yummy mummies was too discouraging. I also found it somewhat soul destroying to be in a class where the instructor screams at you, demanding that you to think about what you've eaten that day and to push harder to get that "bikini body" or your squeezing into your skinny jeans. 

At that time I had to dredge every ounce of confidence I could muster together to convince myself to walk through the studio door. To do that and then spend the hour working really hard whilst being patronised and insulted was not exactly what I had in mind.

It made me wonder whether it ever occurred to these instructors that the things they were yelling were things that most women barely stop thinking about. If beating ourselves up about our diet and reminding ourselves of how imperfect we are worked, we'd all be perfectly fit and healthy. I think that a lot of instructors lose sight of the fact that people exercise for a multitude of reasons. Assuming that the only reason people exercise is to get into lingerie model shape is somewhat presumptuous. 

Weight loss was a part of why I was exercising, not the whole box and dice. Even then, I wanted to lose weight so that I felt like a normal person again. I think unless you've been truly unhappy with your appearance it is hard to understand just how distressing it is to feel abnormal and how different that motivation is from wanting to be 2kg lighter to fit into a teeny tiny pair of jeans or bikini. 

One other important factor that motivated me to exercise was that it did a lot to help the mental health problems and sleep difficulties I was having. The endorphin rush exercise provides helped to re-train my brain how to feel happy, positive feelings. 

Being yelled at and put down must work for someone, because many instructors operate that way. After a little bit of trial and error it was obvious that the bitchy yummy mummies were die hard regulars at the soul destroying instructor's classes. So to avoid one, avoid the other! 

For me, I exercise best when I have fun. I'm lucky in one sense that I do really enjoy exercising and I find it easy to focus and push myself hard. I like group fitness classes because there is music and choreography which helps to distract me from any discomfort. Luckily I found an instructor whose classes are incredibly upbeat, positive and fun. Instructor Kyle is so lovely and has lost 45kg himself. You would never, ever guess by looking at the lean, toned creature that he is today that he used to be overweight! He is so good at making people of all abilities feel welcome and comfortable in his classes whilst encouraging improvement through positivity, not intimidation. 

Anyway, back to the plateau. I have been hovering around the same 2kg range for sometime now. From this week I can see that I'm at a crossroad in my health, fitness and weight loss. Getting through this frustratingly stubborn plateau is going to be the hardest part of this project yet. It is going to take more discipline than I've needed before and a greater level of commitment.

So what do I think that actually means? First of all I think I need to get more sleep. The tennis is on and I've got into a habit of going to bed late. As a result my meal times have been all out of whack. I've probably exercised too much for the amount of sleep I've had. It is Sunday morning now and I'm exhausted. 

I refuse refuse refuse to do anything that resembles a fad or a crash diet, so the dietary modifications I make will be continue to be sensible and healthy. I have been eating too many starchy and sugary foods late in the day as a "pick me up" as a result of the tiredness. 

My foreseeable challenge this week is that I am going to Adelaide to visit my grandmother tomorrow. She will try and force feed me chocolate and encourage me to join her in eating large, fatty and starchy meals. This is tough because I love her dearly and don't want to offend her but I also need to make achieving my goals a priority. 

This trip will also mean 3 days away from my beloved gym. I will go to bed early tonight and get up early tomorrow to squeeze in a gym session before the car comes to pick me up at 7.30am for the airport. I will need to find a way to get at least 1 more solid workout in over Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. 

For today, I need to try and stop a disappointing weigh in from ruining my day!

Important pointers for me:

• 8-9 hours of sleep per night (if I'm well rested I suspect the carb content & unnecessary snacking will take care of itself)
• Eat protein and fruit or veg at every intake - the idea here is to switch the common logic around; rather than taking on a restrictive attitude, I need to focus on getting good stuff in my system. It is a far more positive outlook and by the time I have eaten well my desire to eat something unhelpful will usually pass.
• Smile, be kind to myself and don't give up!

Judgement (and a note about Brebles)

I am so very, very tired. I spent the whole day at Gymnastics Victoria (who are housed by Swinburne University Prahran) and I am now a qualified beginner women's gymnastics judge. Whilst I am very pleased to have this qualification under my belt, the course was basically a giant lecture from 8.45 am to 4.45 pm with a couple of short breaks. It was even held in a lecture theatre. 

That'll be -0.1 for the flexed feet, -0.3 for the leg separation, -0.5 for the knee bend
-0.3 for body alignment
 and I'll leave the skill value to the D-panel thanks, Wei-Wei from Stick It!
image credit click here

The information was very valuable and I was very lucky to have the Victorian women's gymnastics judging director take the course. However, it was a lot of technical information to take in in one sitting and by the end of the day I was getting a little weary. 

Officiating in any sport is a challenge. There are extra pressures in subjective sports like gymnastics as your interpretation as an official plays such an enormous part in the outcome of the competition. As well as maintaining impartiality, I will have to learn how to write without looking down at my paper (glance down, you'll miss something), learn a new "language" of gymnastics shorthand symbols that represent the elements in the routine and memorise the all important "General Table of Faults" (the deductions that are applied in the same way across all four apparatus). 

That's a lot for my little hibernating holiday brain to get a hold of. However, being the complete gymnastics nerd that I am, I know I'll have a lot of fun sinking my teeth into it. My mum was a judge when I was doing gym and I memorised her judges' handbook at night when I should have been sleeping. 

In other news, I can finally brag to the world that my little brother has been made a prefect and house captain for 2013. I am so ridiculously proud of him. Since he arrived at St Kevin's half way through year 4, Alex has embraced Kevinian life and the so called "Spirit of Edmund" wholeheartedly. He is a fantastic kid and I'm so glad that his school and his peers have recognised his contributions. Above all, I think he will having a great time being a house captain, bring a lot of character to the role and have a lot of fun with his Kenny housemates (yes, his house is call Kenny). 

I will also publicly congratulate my "other brother", Richard McDonald, who has also been made a prefect and captain of his house. Being Alex's best mate, Dick has spent a fair bit of time at Casa Brebner Griffin over the years. Dick is a top bloke and lovely to have around the place. He and Brebles are a funny pair who share a wicked sense of humour and it has been great to see them be such positive influences on each other over the years as well as loyal friends. 

In other news, I continue to survive as the only female human currently inhabiting the Brebner Griffin residence. Next week I will be going over to Adelaide to be entirely at the mercy of my grandmother, Patsy, who has scheduled a jam packed 4 days of non-stop activities. It will be an experience of sorts, that's for sure...

To those who've expressed such positive feedback to me about my last post. I really appreciate  everyone who bothers to take the time to read what I write. That goes for whether you are a family member, a friend or someone who isn't necessarily a fan of mine but curiosity gets the better of you when you see me post a link! 

In my next post I'll update you on how my mission to smash the plateau is going. 

The big, fat elephant in the room

Yesterday my mum and my sister headed off on a holiday to Berlin and Paris. Firstly they will be catching up with my aunt, uncle and cousin in Berlin, then they will go on to spend over a week in Paris. I'm sure they will have a fantastic time. How could you not on a trip like that? 

Today I am reluctantly addressing a topic that I have been too afraid and ashamed to speak about. I have been waiting for the "right time" to discuss it, but I realise now that I don't think there ever will be a "right time" where I feel totally comfortable. 

To put it bluntly, I got fat. 

http://www.myspace.com/gastonsgirl76/blog/531257725 

It makes me feel so uncomfortable to write it, but it is true. Like many young people I gained a few kilos in year 12 and then a few more in first year uni. The dramatic gain happened in second year uni, when I was depressed. Overall, I estimate that I became about 20 kilos heavier than what is a happy, healthy weight for my frame. 

There were many, many things that contributed to my weight gain. Depression was one, an injury and a serious acute illness that prevented me from exercising for months on end was another. Family issues and the stress of things like my grandfather's illness (before he died) didn't help. Strange issues that I've had with food since childhood also played a role as well as simply making bad choices about what I put in my mouth.

Over the year that was 2012 I lost 16kg. To some people that might sound like a lot, to others not much. I am satisfied with this progress. There have been highs and lows but I have been determined to not only reduce the number on the scales but to address the problems that caused the gain in the first place. 

As anyone I live with will tell you, I am a very long way from perfect in terms of my diet and exercise habits. This doesn't worry me though, I don't need to be perfect, I just need to keep making sustainable progress. 

I was sick of the cycle of disappointment; starting a health regime (read: crash diet), being really strict for the first few weeks, getting great results then inevitably bingeing like crazy when my poor body couldn't stand another day of shakes/no carbs/whatever-dumb-thing-I-was-doing-that-I-knew-better-than-to-have-even-tried. 

This cycle really messed me up. I felt like I literally couldn't take it anymore. The idea of spending another birthday, Christmas or social gathering wishing I was invisible was rotting me from the inside. My views on myself were very dark, destructive and started to scare me. 

Thankfully I came a realisation; it wasn't that I didn't want to live at all, I just didn't want to live like that anymore. During that horribleness I made one really good choice, I told my mum how I felt. I was so overwhelmed. Without her help, support and love it would have been so much harder to reach the point I'm at today. 

I am sharing this because when I was really struggling I felt so alone. I think we as people get very good at pretending everything is fine when it isn't. It is part of our culture and society to be polite and share a notion of not wanting to burden one another with problems. 

Through the eyes of my depressed brain it looked like everyone else had their lives all worked out or were at least keeping their proverbial shit together far better than I was. I felt like such a failure for not being able to deal with my struggles alone. From this I learned that being open and honest with my struggles and imperfections not only helps me better accept myself but hopefully sends a message to everyone around me that I can accept my own flaws, so I can accept yours too.

Being unhappy with my body destroyed my confidence. With the support of my family (especially my mum) and close friends I have been slowly rebuilding it, but there is still a way to go. I really miss feeling comfortable in my own skin and for me that means going out, living my life and thoughts of my appearance never crossing my mind. When I am at my most comfortable with my appearance it I just forget about it. 

I have been experiencing a very frustrating plateau that I am determined to see the other side of. My first goal of 2013 is to rip through the plateau. I have set myself a time frame, 6 weeks. In these 6 weeks I want to have made substantial progress and left the plateau in my wake. Throughout the 6 weeks I'll keep you all updated on what and how I'm doing. This will help keep me accountable and I will recruit you readers as a part of my support network. 

My second goal is to make 2013 the year for confidence. I truly believe that a wholehearted confidence built on self-acceptance is the most beautiful thing a person can have. I want to be a happy, productive and positive person for my own sanity and so that I can influence others this way. I think this will be a goal that I have to work very hard at throughout my entire life, but today is the day where I chose to accept the challenge. 

Balance, beauty and attitude

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-olympics/images/31733948/title/catalina-ponor-silver-medalist-gymnastics-floor-london-2012-photo

I have had this picture of Catalina Ponor saved as a draft post for a little while, waiting for an excuse to use it. I have it saved because she is one of my favourite gymnasts. 

She won three gold medals at the Olympics in 2004 as a seventeen year old; with the Romanian team, on floor and on beam. She retired in 2007 and did not go to the Beijing Olympics. In 2011, Catalina returned to competitive gymnastics after a four year absence, looking like she had never left. In a sport that produces so few dual Olympians, let alone gymnasts who are able to leave the sport and return to it competitively, she is somewhat remarkable. Catalina won a silver medal and a bronze medal at the London Games, a few days short of her 25th birthday. 

Another remarkable fact about Catalina's career as a gymnast is that she has never fallen off the beam in international competition. For those of you unfamiliar with gymnastics (and by some miracle are still reading), the beam is 10cm wide and 124cm high. Even the great "perfect" Nadia Comaneci fell off beam during her incredible career. 

I love and hate coaching balance beam. Gymnastics is a difficult sport that requires hard work and focus from word go if you wish to succeed. One of the many things that can turn a young girl off of gymnastics is balance beam. 

Succeeding on beam requires strength, flexibility and skill as well as balance, grace and tact. Most of all it requires fearlessness or the ability to embrace fear and use it positively. It is so frustrating coaching a gymnast who has the physical ability to complete a skill but is too afraid to do it on the beam and looks to you for an answer.

Theoretically, any skill you can perform consistently on a line, you should be able to perform with equal ease on the beam. The only difference is the level of risk. To succeed on the beam you need the kind of confidence that says "if I can do it on a line, I can do it on the beam". A confidence that says I don't care if if I split the beam, take the skin off my shins or land on my face/head/ribs/knee/side. The kind of confidence that means you love the risk. 

The most dangerous thing you can do in gymnastics is "baulk" - abort the skill you are attempting part way through. Your chances of injury are so much higher if you do this. If you complete the attempt, even if you can feel that it will not be good, you have a greater chance of landing safely, even if you don't land well.

Succeeding on beam is like beating Roger Federer, you have to believe you are going to win and leave respect at the door. As soon as doubt creeps in, your chances of success creep out.

Guiding young gymnasts toward this confidence if they don't have it naturally is one of the greatest challenges I have encountered as a coach thus far. It can take a very long time and often the gymnast becomes frustrated and quits before they get there. It also requires an individual approach for each gymnast, which is difficult to do when you have to divide your attention equally among the athletes you are teaching.

The challenge of the balance beam is an obvious metaphor for great challenges in life. In other situations or on other apparatus it is easier to cover mistakes or get by without having a wholehearted belief in yourself. When facing a great challenge in life you can't let failure into your mind or you'll bring it about. Similarly, most of the time the worst thing you can do when you're facing something awful is give up part way through. You have to either go full steam ahead or don't try.

What I love most about Catalina is her attitude. Before the Olympics last year she was asked in an interview if she was worried about injury in the lead up to the Games. Her answer follows,

“If I get injured, I swear I will bite my leg or arm off and compete like that.”

She is fierce, determined and I think she'd probably snort in your face and spit on your shoes before giving up or losing focus. It's a pinch or two of that kind of attitude that I want to take with me in 2013.

Lucky 13

8 days in and I'm finally writing my New Year blog! Bad Blogger, bad, bad blogger.

First of all, happy birthday to the blog. I didn't know when I started blogging just how rewarding an experience it would be. I have given the page a new name and a new look and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my news and views in 2013. 

Secondly, it was my Dad's 50th birthday on New Years Day. We had a fantastic party surrounded by lovely people. At the end of the night the whole family and some friends caught the tram home. The navy blue and white helium balloons that decorated the venue came on the tram with us, carried by my brother. That is certainly one way to draw attention to yourself on public transport! 

My Dad is an exemplary man and I am so lucky to have his unwavering love, support and friendship. Thank you Dad and I trust you enjoyed your birthday.

The New Year is a time of year I find particularly amusing. For every person on a high of "clean slate" optimism, there are miserable, cynical folk telling everyone how new year is just another day and that no ones resolutions will last. I find both of these groups amusing because I don't think either end up very happy. Those who set ridiculously unattainable goals on December 1st usually crash and burn. On the other hand, the cynical folk spend most of their time criticizing other people and don't generate any form of positivity. 

I think a middle road approach is most effective. Goal setting is important to me and I think most people benefit from setting attainable and realistic goals. I liken New Years resolutions to being the crash diets of the goal setting world, whilst they may have some positive aspects, we all know better than to set ourselves such lofty and extreme goals and are left and disappointed and dejected when failure ensues. 

Like leading a healthy lifestyle, becoming a truly goal oriented and habitually successful goal achiever is much harder and requires a lot more work. Whilst I was taught many times how to plan for success in primary school and high school, the penny didn't drop for me properly until I second year, second semester of my Arts degree. 

It was the constraints of depression that forced me to become a lot more organised and to develop a reliable goal setting pattern. My natural inclination is to have intense periods of productivity where I can achieve a lot in a very short space of time. When I am well I am the kind of person who can start from zero, research and write a 1000 word essay in 2.5-3 hours. 

When I was depressed my energy levels and memory were not functioning anywhere close to normal, so I had to become a lot more organised to prevent myself from forgetting important things like assignment deadlines or appointments. I was forced to break my tasks down into  smaller, more manageable chunks, as I was not getting the bursts of energy I used to to churn through large tasks in single sittings. 

During this time I bought a year long wall planner, a white board and a notepad. I marked out all my assessment deadlines on the wall planner so that I was constantly reminded of the. I also marked the days off as they passed so that I could see how close I was getting to a deadline. I would write out the things I had to get done in the week on my whiteboard, in a far more detailed fashion that would fit on the wall planner. The notepad lived on my bedside table, I would plan the day ahead on it as well as being a handy place to jot things down if I remembered something in the middle of the night, so I would not lie awake worried about forgetting it. 

Being depressed helped me become more resilient. I am lucky to be a person with a wide range of abilities. However, this meant that I didn't have to try much to achieve good results, especially as a younger child and adolescent. If I'm very honest, I was (wrongfully) proud of this. Being depressed made me aware of how much more important your effort levels are than natural ability. It was until I had to overcome low mood, low energy levels, sleep problems and having no interest in things I used to enjoy that I began to appreciate the value of persistence and effort. It forced me to start developing a consistent work ethic.

Being depressed was awful but with the support of my doctor and my family I have come out the other side a more productive human being than I was beforehand. I am now onto my third wall planner and have two more whiteboards!

The new year is just beginning and I have so much to look forward to. 2012 was a huge year and it is difficult to comprehend just how different my life looks now that it is behind me. I am currently in reflection mode, looking back over the things I achieved in 2012, in order to build on that success and address weaknesses through my goals for 2013. I will share them here as I make them. 

I am also preparing myself for another year of major changes, the most pressing being another new uni course at a new uni and a new job. The great man, Dr Phil, says that successful people surround themselves with a nucleus of supporters. I think that is just a way of saying that "no person is an island" and those that do well in life are not afraid to use the human resources around them. Most people enjoy being involved in the lives of their friends and loved ones, successful people (apparently) are those who recognise this and capitalise upon it, rather than feeling the need to do everything on their own. 

I am very fortunate to have a solid nucleus of support people who helped me thrive in 2012 and I hope to be able to rely on their love and utilise their skills to make 2013 great.

My first goal for 2013 is to be a regular blogger. I started out as a once a day blogger, which ended up being too much for me. Over the busier months of the year I really let the blog slip and I don't want that to happen again. I have decided that in 2013 I will be a twice a week blogger and from now on I will post on Wednesday and Sunday each week. 

I have many other goals to do with my study, gymnastics coaching, health and fitness. Once I refine them I will share them with you and welcome any feedback. I would love to hear the sorts of challenges you are setting for yourself, too, if you wish to share. 

I'll speak to you again tomorrow :)