#YOLO

Sorry it's been a while between posts, if there is anyone out there reading this!

It has been a tiring week since I last posted. The reason I haven't written is because little of what has occupied the household has directly related to me. Earlier in the week friends of my family received some very bad news that is radically changing their lives. They are facing an enormous challenge, the kind that causes you to reflect on what is really important in life, the people you love.

One of my siblings is quite unwell at the moment and has had a very tough time with many aspects of their health this week. Thankfully they are now receiving the care they need and getting some much needed rest. 

This week I have been shocked and worried about other people and also very thankful that I have not been dealing with a crisis myself. I have been thinking about the measures I've already been taking to improve my own health and experiencing a boost in enthusiasm and motivation. I've also been thinking about the measures I'm taking to make my life happier, satisfying and meaningful and I'm pleased with the decisions I've made about my path of study for next year as well as doing things like taking up gymnastics coaching again. 

The only thing worth reporting that I actually did myself in this past week was book a holiday. A group of friends from uni are going to the Gold Coast for a week in late February next year. There will be at least 8 of us going and we have booked a fantastic holiday house. It is close to everything we need, will fit us all very comfortably and has its own pool. I booked my flights last Sunday and even though the trip is months away, I'm really excited. The kids from uni are really fun and I think we're going to have an absolute blast. 

http://www.carrentalgoldcoast.net.au/

I was somewhat hesitant to agree to go on this trip. I didn't go on a "schoolies" trip after I finished year 12. I didn't think I would given none of my friends were really keen to go anywhere. The other reason was musical. I became quite a "choir nerd" at school in Melbourne, on top of continuing to play a lot of sport. I didn't enjoy school much over here and being involved in music was a very positive kind of "escape" for me.

The school I went to has an end of year Christmas carols service. Most of the kids hate it but the music nerds tend to love it. For a week at the end of the year all the students from years 7-9 had to rehearse with the choir every day for the first 2 lessons of the day. The service has a number of solos in it, which were auditioned for each year. It was very competitive, but I found it to be the kind of competition that encouraged improvement. 

The first year I went to carols, a girl in year 11 had the solo that was the most sought after, a verse of Oh Holy Night in french. She is a very gifted soprano and performed incredibly. From that point,  I wanted to have that solo. The next two years I was given other solos, but other accomplished singers in the year above were rightfully given the one I wanted. At the end of year 12 I got the Oh Holy Night solo. The night of carols coincided with the week that most year 12s were on schoolies. 

In some years, girls would go to schoolies and come back in time for the night of carols. One year a girl who had been given a solo did this and almost had it taken off her when she came back from Byron Bay with barely any voice left. There was no way I was going to miss any rehersal, let alone bathe my vocal chords in booze for a week before hand. 

Singing that solo was a real highlight and I felt so proud to have set a goal and achieve it. However, it was an instance indicative of a habit I've had for a while, avoiding "fun" based rights of passage. As I have written about before, I'm not very good with birthdays. I think in part it's because my family in general has not been all that good at recognising the importance of fun among serious and sensible, though we are improving. I think it is also because I have always enjoyed discipline, focus and structure. Even as a small child, I didn't see the "point" of a lot of the fun things my peers did.

As I have grown up I have come to appreciate that sometimes it is healthy and productive for "fun" to be the point. There has to be a balance, of course, between the fun and the focused. However, not everything you do in life has to be a stepping stone toward a Nobel Prize. Being able to relax and enjoy yourself are important skills that make life a worthwhile experience. In recent years, personal challenges have almost completely eroded my ability to enjoy myself.

So going on this trip is about embracing fun and giving myself permission to live a little more often than I have been. Life is short and precious. Whilst it is a cliche, I guess none of us really know how many chances each of us will get to dance like no one is watching, so I need to get better at taking those opportunities.