Have a gold star

How is that new year's resolution going? It's February 13th so you've had 44 days now to cement in whatever life changing pattern you said you'd embark on. 

My first ever post on this blog was about why I'm not a huge fan of new year's resolutions. If you made one, I hope it is going well. If you didn't, but you've taken important steps to improve your life, I award you a gold star. 

I think there is a huge amount of value in resilience. I think a crucial part of resilience is the ability to be able to improve your own circumstances at any point in time under any conditions.  The difference between deciding that you want your life to start getting better now; not when the 'time is right' or 'starting on Monday'. If we're not careful, landmark social and cultural events and conventions can provide us with excuses not to do better and be better now. 

One of the many great things about people is that each is person unique (just like everyone else =P) Friendship has become quite a key theme of this blog as both Katie and I are both trying to negotiate our social worlds differently. We both have distinctly different challenges to face, but the commonality is that we both need to surround ourselves with more people who are inclined to bring out the best in us rather than present us with taxing, yet superficial challenges. 

The nature by which people have spoken to me about the things they have on the horizon this year has told me a lot. Some have preached at me, proclaiming their "holier-than-thou'" intentions for this year in a rather evangelical fashion. I am interested in what they are doing, however the passive-aggressive undertones of superiority are not endearing. I am a very competitive person, but it erks me greatly when certain folks try to pitch themselves as being superior to you through ramming whatever their latest noble development is down my throat.

Others have shared openly, expressing their genuine excitement to be starting something new.  It is really nice to share in that kind of excitement and anticipation with someone you care about, with no notion at all that they trying to prove that they are closer to Sainthood than you. It becomes really hard to be genuinely happy for someone when they seem to always want to be "one up" on you. I find it's also hard to share a personal success with them, as you don't want to face diminishing comments or provoke the purity of character competition any further by making them feel as if they've fallen behind you in some way. 

Competition is best when it is out in the open. Open, honest and mutually respectful competition can be hugely fierce as well as beneficial. It can push you exceed your expectations of your capabilities. It can also be tremendous for growth of character. Competition can force you to "put your money where your mouth is". It is one thing to think you are good at something, it is another thing to actually have the courage to put your pride on the line. 

Most  passive-aggressive conversational competitors avoid forms of formal competition in other aspects of their lives. They just want to feel better than everyone, but are too insecure to face the prospect of defeat.