I continued job hunting today. I saw a sign in the window of a cafe and I handed in my resume. The guy who took it seemed really friendly and asked for my availability straight off the bat, which has to be a good thing, right? It would be a great job. The cafe is in a lovely new shopping centre which is a 10 minute bus ride from home. However, I will not be getting my hopes up this time. My last very conditional job offer taught me that lesson. I also attended my favourite bodyAttack class again. I've never enjoyed that class so much until I friendly English Kyle came into my life (I know I've said it before, but anyone who's done Attack will understand my amazement).
So about my porn addiction...
It's not the standard kind of porn addiction. Regular readers of this blog will have seen some warning signs of it in this very blog, probably without even knowing it.
As I lie down on this internet based psychiatrist's couch, I will tell you about my deep, dark secret...
I've been trying to clean up my diet a bit in order to be healthier. A new years resolution, I guess you could say. In particular I have been to increase the amount of protein, fruit and vegetables in my diet and reduce my previously horrifying intake of sugar.
Like my sister, I have wanted to donate blood for a long time, but my iron levels have been so low that months on prescription iron supplements have not increased it to an acceptable level. Lots of women are low in iron, it does not make me particularly special. Whether it makes me special or not is not really the point. I've become fed up with the side effects. I have always had very low blood pressure to the point where I faint a lot more often than most people. This is especially annoying in summer. I'm a very active person and it has interfered with my ability to exercise or play sport more often than I'd like. That as well as high levels of lethargy and a very pasty complexion. I will always be pale, but I don't have to look so semi-transparent.
To substitute for the energy I didn't get from iron rich foods, I would constantly snack on sugary foods (chocolate in particular) to have enough energy to sustain myself. The consequences of this have had a very profound impact too. It has been quite a struggle to improve this situation and I've had a few minor slip ups but overall I have been doing pretty well.
However, in an attempt to keep myself from bingeing on sweet foods I have shamefully turned to porn.
Food porn.
I've found that sometimes that just indulging in the idea and the appearance of the sugary food is enough to keep me from eating it. It is also an attempt to train my brain to know that it is fine to think about unhealthy treats, but thinking about the food does not mean I am duty bound to eat it. Ensue the shameful Google image searching of delicious food...
I do joke about this being an addiction, but today I did discover that Americans really can turn anything into a cookie. Here we have peanut butter cup chocolate chip cookies and oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies (cookie stuffed cookies!?)
*Images from http://www.thekitchenmagpie.com/peanut-butter-cup-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookies and http://www.cookinwithmoxie.com/blog/?p=1184 *
Have you ever done something a little weird to try and improve your health? Leave it in a comment, anonymously if you like!
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