Paramedics Week One: Survived.. just

I was meant to have my first tutorial for human structure and function as well as my first practical for clinical concepts today. Those first experiences will have to wait until next week thanks to a little ole immunisation appointment.

The good thing that came out of the appointment was that I had all the immunity that I should have had from my childhood vaccinations. I also don't have hepatitis C or HIV. I didn't think I did but I must say it is nice to no for sure that I don't have HIV. Having an HIV test was like going through the metal detectors at the airport, you know for sure that you're not carrying a bomb or a knife and yet you are nervous.

Despite the immunity, I still needed two boosters and a flu needle. Needles and I have never got along very well. As a little kid, like most, I plain old just hated them. I've always fainted for them. I have low blood pressure, so it doesn't take much to make me faint. I was feeling good this morning, though, so I foolishly thought that I'd just need a few moments to lie down and everything would be fine.

How wrong I was. I had all three needles whilst lying down; the two ouchie ones in my left arm (flu & the tetanus/whooping cough/diphtheria mega booster) and the non ouchie one in right (hep A booster). After a few minutes I had a splitting headache and starting getting chills and sweats. Charming.  That went on for about an hour and 10 minutes. The doctor was preparing to cannulate when I finally started recovering.

The doctor at the uni clinic today works in the Alfred Hospital so I am choosing to think that it wasn't that bad, he just wanted something more exciting to do than review the immunisation history of a zillion students and ordering routine jabs. They wouldn't even let me take the bus and train home and made me ask my mum to come and get me. Thankfully Mum is taking Friday's off at the moment. Way to ruin her day off, having to drive out to Frankston.

At least I didn't cry. I usually cry after fainting, anaphylactic reactions or whatever other more wacko medical emergency is thrown at me. After something like that I just want to snuggle on the couch with someone to hug me and some of those soothing little pats that someone who really loves you will give you to let you know that they are glad you're alright without saying anything.

Yes. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. It has been a tough week and I am not at my most resilient.

I'm still adjusting to my new job. The job is fine, the people are nice but the finishing times are inconsistent which is messing with my sleeping and eating patterns. There is a lot of new information to take in there. I have to work all day tomorrow, but I won't be able to do any lifting due to my jabs. I'm dreading it. I'm also concerned that the hours I'm getting will not be sustainable once assignments pick up.

Uni has been overwhelming too. It's interesting and I've met a few nice people, but I'm not sure at all if it's the right thing for me vocationally. I managed to squish in 3 hard workouts at the gym too.

My brain is at capacity and I'm very tired. My licence test is in 21 days and I don't feel ready (I don't think I ever will, though). My birthday is only 15 days away and I just don't want to deal with negotiating arrangements for a family dinner or any other kind of celebration, but I have to.

Speaking of the birthday, my "big" birthday present from my parents was ready to be picked up today and I'm excited about that.

I should try harder to be grateful for what I have, I know that. That being said, I'm really not enjoying my life right now.

One week at a time. I need to survive this year month week, one day at a time.