What the fudge bucket am I going to do with my life?

I've started contemplating the different things I could do with next semester. It is partly fun and partly scary. 

My plans fall into three basic categories;

Category 1: Continue paramedics for another semester (groan).

Category 2: find a new direction and appropriate course and commence it in semester 2.

Category 3: find a new direction, start appropriate course next year if not available for semester 2 start and get to work on all those little things on my life "to do" list that I never get enough time for.

What I have learned so far from my researching is that there are a lot of very expensive, very wanky sounding graduate level qualifications out there that will do nothing to increase your employ-ability. 

I don't blame the universities. It has been a thousand years since they were adequately funded, so they create degrees that people want to study even though for every 100 students they accept, there is only one poorly paid entry level job for them all to compete for upon graduation . 

Most of them are basically graduate level, coursework based Arts degrees; interesting to study but shit all employment outcomes (as distinct from the actual Master of Arts, which is research based). Since I already have a "fun to study, but not all that useful" degree, I am not in the market for a second.

There are so many options out there. I wish I could skip off to Hogwarts, put on the sorting hat and have it tell me what I should be doing. 

However, Harry's encounter with the sorting hat was one of many moments where JK Rowling poignantly reminds us that it is the decisions we make that most shape our outcomes, not our genetics and not the things that happen to us.  

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Sorting_Hat

There are so many things I want to and I don't like the idea of having to invest my time going in one direction knowing that as soon as I do that other possibilities will pass. However, I do know that if I don't properly channel my energies into something, I waste all my time agonising and I won't achieve anything like the level of success I so want for myself in any area at all. 

I am now starting to understand why in high school (especially snooty private schools like the ones I went to) they just tell you what to do. It is hard to work out where you fit in in the world and it is just easier if someone comes along and else tells you. 

In other news, my younger brother is currently in London on a tour of the UK with his school cricket team. It is meant to be a cricket tour however every match scheduled thus far has been washed out. He still seems to be having a fantastic time and today he will have an (indoor) net session at Lord's. Those of us back home are just a little bit jealous.

On the weekend I got a little gift from my Dad for no reason. I will admit to being a fan of receiving gifts for any reason, but there is something especially lovely about receiving a gift purely because the giver saw something and thought of you. 

Yay! Present 

So if anyone out there has any idea as to what I should be doing with my life, please let me know in a comment!

Wanker Chef: Homemade peanut butter cups!

On Friday I was feeling strangely productive. I have become somewhat addicted to being really busy and now I can't seem to wind down. There is no doubt it is taking me a little while to get back to normal after exams. I keep waking up trying to remember what I should be studying... 

On Friday I ran errands, did a very long session at the gym, had lunch and a long walk while avoiding the cleaners. Once I got back in the house, I couldn't bring myself to sit still, so I did some cooking. 


I made homemade peanut butter cups because I love them and thought they couldn't be too hard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Reese's-PB-Cups-Wrapper-Small.jpg

I've had a few requests for the recipe so I thought I would share it here! However, since cooking  isn't a specialty of mine I don't anticipate this becoming a regular segment.


Homemade Peanut Butter Cups!

This recipe is roughly based around ones I read on  http://www.joyofbaking.com/candy/PeanutButterCups.html and  http://www.sweetestkitchen.com/2009/04/homemade-peanut-butter-cups/#.T-XBvbUe4_c. 

Ingredients:

Cooking chocolate (I used milk, 1 big bag - adjust to your preference / desired quantity) 
Kraft whipped peanut butter - 1/2 a jar
Icing sugar - 1 bag
Margarine - 1 tablespoon
Canola oil
Mini muffin tin/ patty pans

Method:

I used a mini muffin tin as a mould and it worked really well. Before you start, grease it really lightly with margarine. You could use foil patty pans instead if you don't have a mini muffin tin.

Scoop half a jar of whipped peanut butter into a mixing bowl.

You can use ordinary peanut butter but it is tougher to mix. Kraft make a "whipped" variety (what drugs were the product development  department on when this came into fruition?) the mousse-like texture works really well.

Add icing sugar, sifting in about 2 table spoons at a time, keep adding until the peanut butter is as sweet as you want it. Mix through with a wooden spoon until the mixture is doughy (it's tough work, my arm got really sore!). 

The icing sugar and peanut butter dough

Melt your cooking chocolate. You could do it on the stove but I did it in the microwave, stopping every 30 seconds to stir. If you are feeling particularly clever, you can melt through a teaspoons of the peanut butter mix to the chocolate to give it a hint of peanut buttery deliciousness. 


Once the chocolate is melted, add a little dash of oil (say a teaspoon full) and stir through. The chocolate needs to pour quite easily, but shouldn't be too runny. 

Next, fill the bottom half of your patty pans/ tins with chocolate to just under halfway. Put the pans/ tins in the fridge until the chocolate is half set (you should be able to put a deep thumb print in the chocolate). This will only take a few minutes.

Once you've got the tin out of the fridge, roll the peanut butter mixture into little balls and place them on the chocolate bases. Make sure the peanut butter mixture does not touch the sides of the tin if you want it to be fully encased by chocolate.

Finally, cover with melted chocolate and put in the fridge to set (or the freezer if you're impatient!). Mine only took about 20 minutes to set completely but that will depend on the size of your peanut butter cups and the temperature in your fridge/freezer.


Once they have set, turn the little beauties out of the tin. This might take a little bit of bashing... then, get nomming! 

Om nom nom!

I thought the finished product turned out tasting slightly better than the commercially available ones. I think this is because you can adjust the sweetness of the peanut butter filling and the oil content of the chocolate to your taste preference. I haven't included specific measurements for the ingredients,I surveyed by eye based on how many I PBCs I wanted. The only thing I would say is unless you are feeding an army, don't use more than 1/2 the jar of peanut butter. 

Give them a go and let me know how they turned out!

Exams: SURVIVED!

It is hard to believe that exam period is finally over. After exactly three weeks of studying like crazy, not studying enough, worrying about exams, doing exams and eating everything in sight they are over. The worst part most definitely was the roller coaster effect of studying like mad for an exam, getting nervous for the exam, the relief of the exam being over then being really tired and not wanting to do any study for the next one.

I found this exam period to be unrelenting. For a start there were 6 of the damn things, all but one focused on familiarity/ memorisation of content rather than grasping and explanation of concepts. This was a completely different experience for me having spent the last 3 years writing essays and doing exams that were rarely worth more than 25%. 

Even though I have done well in my course work throughout the semester, the exams were worth between 30-80% of the total mark. 


My first written exam was for anatomy and physiology. A&P was the most content heavy subject by a mile and given that it has been 5 years since I did biology, the sheer volume of information that I needed to memorise was very daunting. Just to give you some idea of that volume, for the one week of classes on the endocrine system we had to know the name, function and effect of hypo and hyper-secretion of about 20 different hormones. That was on top of understanding all the structures of the endocrine system and their function. Times that by 11 weeks and you get the picture. 


Subsequently, I didn't study anything else other subject in my swotvac week and I know many others who did the same. I found the written exam tough but more doable than expected. This was certainly an exam where those with a background in science were at a significant advantage. 

My second exam was for IPE, the "fluffy" subject about interprofessional communication taught by the scary "mutton dressed as lamb" lady. This exam was all multiple choice and only worth 30%. I was already sitting on a 61 before the exam so I didn't intend to do anything more than quickly revisit my lecture notes. This was the only subject where the "airy fairy arts bullshit" background worked in my favour. 


The "human development and health across the lifespan" exam was on Thursday afternoon. I had spent so much time focusing on A&P that it felt weird to think about anything else. The title of the unit pretty well says it; we had to know the physical, cognitive and psychosocial changes that occur at each stage in the lifespan. It was a really interesting subject and my classmates and I did find it amusing to learn how the development of the brain impacts every part of your being at every stage of your life. This exam was the most unpredictable. The assessment tasks we'd previously completed ranged from rediculously easy to impossibly hard, so noone knew what to expect. In the end, I was relieved that it was fairly reasonable. 


After lifespan it was back to studying A&P again. The second exam was a test in the lab known as the "flag race". The lab was partitioned into stations each with a model of a heart, muscle or bone or a set of test tubes. We had exactly 2 minutes at each station to answer the 4-5 questions on the corresponding worksheet. We had to know the names of the bones and muscle as well as key bone landmarks. We also had to know the origin and insertion points of each muscle. 


The actual paramedics subject was assessed over the last two exams. The written one was just plain nasty; if you hadn't done the memorising, you were screwed. That exam was worth 50% and was a hurdle meaning that you have to get a pass mark for the exam to be eligible to pass the unit, regardless of how many marks you've already accrued. The mid semester exam for that subject wasn't too bad, so I prepared for a similar level of difficulty. That proved somewhat of a mistake. I was not at all confident when I left that exam. 


The practical assessment is call an OSCE - objective structured clinical examination. In this particularly delightful form of assessment we get to pretend to be a real paramedic and fulfill a long list of criteria whilst surveying a pretend patient third year student. It was a pass/fail hurdle. The thing that had me most worried was the 8 minute time limit. Thankfully my assessor was really nice and my pretend patient was being an 88 year old with an injury to his right wrist. This kind of assessment is so nerve wracking but at least you do get to know straight away whether you passed, which I did. 


It was a real team effort studying for that one. My family were great and tolerated having their blood pressure taken often and volunteered their time to act as patients. When ever I saw an exposed arm, in a few seconds a cuff would be on it. I got together with some pals from uni to practice, too, which was a lot of fun. Pretending to be the patient is so much fun! 


During exams my Mum went away on a big business trip and my sister had surgery, which added additional stressors, but that's family life for you. 


I have not felt so drained in a long time. 


Thinking back to some of the early weeks of this course, I can't believe that I made it through. It has been such a steep learning curve in so many ways. I was presented with challenges that I certainly did not anticipate and I have met some wonderful and interesting people whom I hope will stay my friends regardless of whether I pursue paramedics.


Now I finally have some time to contemplate my path forward for next semester. Once I decided that I was going see out the semester, I put my head down and did not allow myself to entertain alternate paths. I knew that it was going to take all of my focus to keep on top of my work and I knew that if I allowed my focus to wander too far into the future, my expectations of my work in the present might slip. 


At this point I have many ideas about what I might like to do next semester and I haven't definitively ruled out continuing with the course. I feel certain at this point that whilst I have so much respect for the paramedic field, it is not my vocational calling. 


I have a lot of thinking to do, just for a change. Thankfully with a 5 week break, I finally have time on my side. 

Exams: not yet survived

This is my fifth attempt to write a post in about a week.

I am now through four of the six of my exams in my seemingly never ending exam period. I had an exam out in Frankston at 9am this morning. I bet you can't imagine a better way to spend your Queen's Birthday Monday than with the second anatomy and physiology exam.

Highlights of exams thus far include a girl from my course turning up to an exam in a zebra suit and me eating just about everything in the house.

My poor little brain is not used to all this studying and I most definitely have been going mad over the past few weeks. Subsequently, I'm very glad I didn't actually publish any of my previous attempts to blog. 

One was a crazed rant about how much of a shit a particular friend has been lately. Another contained an elaborate theory about why my siblings were apparently conspiring against me complete with explanatory pop-psychobabble. Finally, a large amount of waffle about how I felt like my brain was oozing out my ears...

In a much more balanced state I have concluded that said friend is in fact being a shit but writing about it (even anonymously) in a public forum probably isn't going to help. My brain has certainly been oozing out ears. However, my siblings don't seem to be out to get me any more than can be considered an acceptable sibling amount.

Being stressed about exams is a strange and new experience for me. One I am not enjoying a whole lot.

So this post really just serves as a progress report to let you know that I am still alive. However, it has been so long since I've had decent exposure to sunlight that my skin is just about transparent. 

link to owner of picture's sight

I have two exams left. One is of the ordinary written variety, the other is a practical hurdle assessment. The hurdle is not worth any points itself, but if you fail it you fail the entire unit. 

No pressure. 

Aims for this week include;

• survive
• eat less (not in a crazy diet way, but in a way that means I won't resemble Michelin Man by the end of exams)
• spend time in the sun (just to check that I haven't turned into a vampire)
• study (eugh)

Watch out, here I come!