I trust you are resting peacefully

Dearest Pa, 

It has been two whole years since you died. I don't really believe in heaven, I'm fairly certain that once you die you're gone, but that doesn't stop me from talking to you constantly in my own little way.

I have two pictures of you up on my pin board in my room with other "important" pieces of paper, as well as one in my wallet. At first I put them there because I wanted to be reminded of you constantly. You had so much faith in me, such a great understanding of me and so much love for me. These are not the things I was worried about forgetting, though.

In the last year or so before you died I had not been doing all that well. I had had a serious acute illness, an injury and had been depressed. I was struggling to stay well and find my place in the world outside of school. My university work had suffered a lot but I had started to slowly pick myself up. I got my uni results while in Adelaide a few days before your funeral and they were really good. I thought you would be proud and most importantly, I was proud of myself again for the first time in a long time.

Listening to such a wide variety of people talk about how much they loved and respected you was unique experience for me. I idolised you growing up, but it was a different thing all together hearing such a wide variety of people express fondness and respect for you. I especially loved how the group of people who attended your funeral were so diverse. Whilst there were family, life long friends, Judges, QCs and South Australian Football administrators, there were also former secretaries, neighbours and folk from Victor Harbor. 

You achieved so many things in your rich and very well lived life. Having it spoken about so comprehensively reminded me of couple of important things. Firstly, the importance of wholeheartedly embracing the opportunities in your life. This sounds cliche to a lot of folk and there are a lot of folk who talk the talk but certainly do not walk the walk. Your love for South Australia and your belief that you could have the best and be the best in Adelaide was proven by your life. 

There is so much psychobabble spoken these days about living life to the fullest. What I love about you is that you just did it. You were a judge through and through, so you only ever spoke when you thought it was absolutely necessary and would have been happy to have your words etched in stone. I'm happy being more of a communicator than you were but you definitely demonstrated how you can fit a lot more "action" into life when you don't waste any time babbling. 

The other thing that touched me during that time of reflection on your life was that you treated all people around you, regardless of where they sit in society's pecking order, with the respect they deserved. Treating people based on their merits, not on societal perceptions of importance or status, is something I see as key to being a decent human being. This is something I try hard to emulate myself and have had modeled to me daily by my parents. 

Having spent two more years in the "real world" and meeting some truly wonderful and truly abhorrent people, since you died I have developed a deeper appreciation for the importance of integrity. You were an exemplary role model. 

What I really wanted to let you know is that I love you. I feel so grateful that of all the people in the world who thought you were important and special, you thought I was important and special. I am doing better and better by the day and I so want to make you and myself proud. 

I also have come to realise that whilst you were an extraordinary man, you were not perfect. There is a lot to learn from your life, but in many ways you were a man, father and husband of your generation. Whilst I want to contribute to my community, I think if I have a family of my own, I will want to be around them more and would expect a very different style of parenting from a prospective partner. 

I've always wanted to follow in your footsteps and I thought I had to become a lawyer to do that. I'm starting to realise that whilst the law was a huge part of your life, ironically for me, so was sports administration.  

Whilst my dream is to be a fantastic sports and exercise business person, I think the way I would most like to emulate you is by carving out my character and my life in the best way I can.

The older I grow, the more questions there are that I would like to ask you.   

I trust you are resting peacefully, wherever you are.

Lots of love,

Eliza

P.S. South Australia smashed Victoria in the cricket today. It seemed strangely appropriate.

106 is my favourite number this week

I have committed grave blog neglect lately. The "real world" has been a very busy place.

I am so proud of my brother for many reasons. He is currently on leadership camp, which is the camp a group of 40 boys from his school go on and from this group the school leaders (captains, prefects etc) will be selected. Receiving an invitation, however, does not guarantee the recipient a position. Being selected as part of this group of 40 out of a year level of 250 is a testament to the enthusiasm, pride and loyalty with which he has represented his school over the past 7.5 years. 

Yesterday Alex scored his first century as a batsman, making 106 playing cricket for his school. He also took 2 catches and took the final wicket to seal the victory. Sadly I was stuck working a 10 hour shift and couldn't be at the cricket, but the text updates from Mum that I checked during my breaks helped keep my spirits up. He has been in good form this year and it is great to see him enjoy performing to the best of his abilities.

He has worked hard for the success he is enjoying and has conducted himself with integrity in the face of disappointment as well as grace in victory. He is a fantastic kid and I'm so proud that he is my brother.

On Friday I received an early round offer for my preferred uni course for next year, Exercise and Sport Science/ Business (Sport Management) double degree at Deakin. I am so relieved that I won't have to wait until January to find out where I will be studying and now I can start putting my plans for my future into action. 

The only thing stopping me from being able to properly relax and enjoy my holidays will take place on Tuesday; dental surgery. After 21 years of straight forward dental health, I will be having 5 teeth removed. Two of these are wisdom teeth, two are baby teeth which have not fallen out on their own as well as one adult tooth which has been pushed into a strange position because the corresponding baby tooth never came out. As soon as I am healed I will be getting my braces on. Yippee. 

I do not have a particularly enjoyable week ahead, but I am looking forward to getting past it!

A dear friend of mine has moved back to her home city interstate this weekend as she faces a great deal of adversity. Her decision was a wise one and she was courageous to make it. Simultaneously I have admired my brother's ability to rise so magnificently above a disappointment on a smaller scale.

Life is full of trials, tribulations and adversity, both large and small. This keeps us challenged, stretches us to our limits and forces us to achieve on a level we didn't know we were capable of. 

Whatever difficulty you face this week, I wish for you strength, the wisdom or whatever else you may need (painkillers??) to overcome it. 

Turtles, golf balls and saying goodbye to Frankston

I'm right in the middle of my exams so I haven't posted anything for a little while. 

My last installment was a bit self-pitying, but I have since sorted myself out on that particular issue. It is hard when you face a situation that is easier to comprehend intellectually than emotionally. It is one thing to know how you ought to behave but quite another thing to feel like behaving that way. 

After a few days of trying to figure it out on my own, I had a chat with my mum who reassured me that what I was feeling was to be expected. I was glad I told her that I was struggling. I think it helped her by telling her how I was travelling so that she could a better idea how to interact with me, and I certainly felt better after talking things through. I say "talking things through", by that I mean more like blubbering and sniveling...

Over the last few weeks I have had the chance to see my brother play cricket for school. Cricket is very important to my brother and he loves representing his school. He was in the first XI squad last year but was not a regular member of this side, spending most of his game time in the seconds. He was selected in the firsts side for both the practice matches and made 40 not out opening the batting last weekend. 

The boys in the side are lovely and very charismatic kids and the parents are nice, too. This makes for a very sportingly entertaining and enjoyable way to spend a Saturday. The "real" season matches start next week and I hope to see as much of Brebles play as I can, paid work commitments permitting. He has worked very hard at his cricket since he was a tiny little tacker and I just have a good feeling about this season.

Today was a beautiful day in Melbourne. I had a very luxurious sleep in, read my book and played 9 holes of golf with my parents. The golf course where we play is so tranquil, even when I play horribly I love how I still get a long walk through manicured grass, trees and little lakes and ponds. The highlight of today was seeing a turtle walking across the fairway, as well as a mother duck and her ducklings and many little bunnies. 

Given that I haven't had a chance to get out onto the course in a few months, I was surprised with how respectable my form was.

This week I will journey out to the Monash University Peninsula Campus for the final time. Whilst I am so excited about my new course and the change of direction I'm taking, leaving Frankston is bittersweet. This year has been one of the best I've had in a long time. I feel that I have gained far more in this one year at Frankston than I did in the 3 years of my Arts degree. I am so thankful for the fantastic friends I have made and the lessons I have learned, both academic and personal. 

May contain traces of sarcasm

Having spent so much time recently thinking about what is important to me in life and what makes me happy, this little anecdote really appeals to me. I can't remember where I first saw it, I think it was probably on facebook. I think it is very poignant. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your  spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/263.html