I trust you are resting peacefully

Dearest Pa, 

It has been two whole years since you died. I don't really believe in heaven, I'm fairly certain that once you die you're gone, but that doesn't stop me from talking to you constantly in my own little way.

I have two pictures of you up on my pin board in my room with other "important" pieces of paper, as well as one in my wallet. At first I put them there because I wanted to be reminded of you constantly. You had so much faith in me, such a great understanding of me and so much love for me. These are not the things I was worried about forgetting, though.

In the last year or so before you died I had not been doing all that well. I had had a serious acute illness, an injury and had been depressed. I was struggling to stay well and find my place in the world outside of school. My university work had suffered a lot but I had started to slowly pick myself up. I got my uni results while in Adelaide a few days before your funeral and they were really good. I thought you would be proud and most importantly, I was proud of myself again for the first time in a long time.

Listening to such a wide variety of people talk about how much they loved and respected you was unique experience for me. I idolised you growing up, but it was a different thing all together hearing such a wide variety of people express fondness and respect for you. I especially loved how the group of people who attended your funeral were so diverse. Whilst there were family, life long friends, Judges, QCs and South Australian Football administrators, there were also former secretaries, neighbours and folk from Victor Harbor. 

You achieved so many things in your rich and very well lived life. Having it spoken about so comprehensively reminded me of couple of important things. Firstly, the importance of wholeheartedly embracing the opportunities in your life. This sounds cliche to a lot of folk and there are a lot of folk who talk the talk but certainly do not walk the walk. Your love for South Australia and your belief that you could have the best and be the best in Adelaide was proven by your life. 

There is so much psychobabble spoken these days about living life to the fullest. What I love about you is that you just did it. You were a judge through and through, so you only ever spoke when you thought it was absolutely necessary and would have been happy to have your words etched in stone. I'm happy being more of a communicator than you were but you definitely demonstrated how you can fit a lot more "action" into life when you don't waste any time babbling. 

The other thing that touched me during that time of reflection on your life was that you treated all people around you, regardless of where they sit in society's pecking order, with the respect they deserved. Treating people based on their merits, not on societal perceptions of importance or status, is something I see as key to being a decent human being. This is something I try hard to emulate myself and have had modeled to me daily by my parents. 

Having spent two more years in the "real world" and meeting some truly wonderful and truly abhorrent people, since you died I have developed a deeper appreciation for the importance of integrity. You were an exemplary role model. 

What I really wanted to let you know is that I love you. I feel so grateful that of all the people in the world who thought you were important and special, you thought I was important and special. I am doing better and better by the day and I so want to make you and myself proud. 

I also have come to realise that whilst you were an extraordinary man, you were not perfect. There is a lot to learn from your life, but in many ways you were a man, father and husband of your generation. Whilst I want to contribute to my community, I think if I have a family of my own, I will want to be around them more and would expect a very different style of parenting from a prospective partner. 

I've always wanted to follow in your footsteps and I thought I had to become a lawyer to do that. I'm starting to realise that whilst the law was a huge part of your life, ironically for me, so was sports administration.  

Whilst my dream is to be a fantastic sports and exercise business person, I think the way I would most like to emulate you is by carving out my character and my life in the best way I can.

The older I grow, the more questions there are that I would like to ask you.   

I trust you are resting peacefully, wherever you are.

Lots of love,

Eliza

P.S. South Australia smashed Victoria in the cricket today. It seemed strangely appropriate.